I need some comic relief! So today, I am giving a nod to April Fool’s Day with a compilation of horse jokes, puns and silly sayings for some unbridled laughs. So let’s quit stalling and get to it.
The LaffGaff website says “We’re not trying to stirrup trouble, but we reckon these are the best horse jokes and puns you’ll find…. there’s no night-mare jokes here!” The following are my favorites from the LaffGaff horse-related joke list:
- 100 years ago everyone owned horses and only the rich drove cars. These days everyone drives cars and only the rich own horses. Oh, how the stables have turned.
- What did the horse say when it fell down? “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy up!”
- What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? A neigh-bor.
- When do vampires like horse racing? When it’s neck and neck.
- What’s a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis.
- What kind of bread does a racehorse eat? Thoroughbred.
- What do racehorses eat? Fast food.
- I have a horse named Mayo.Mayo neighs.
- Do you know why the horse stalls at a racetrack are labeled A, B, D, E, and F? Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
I found another collection of funny sayings on the website Wideopenpets. Here are my favorites:
- 401k…check. It’s nice to be financially stable.
- I wasn’t planning to take a vacation, but I did. It was a spur of the moment decision.
- Lost the bet? Pony up.
- Late to your appointment? Better hoof it.
- I appreciate your unbridled enthusiasm. But it’s a bit much.
- Quit stalling and answer the question.
- Yessss! Just got promoted. But now I’m saddled with a ton more responsibility.
- Let’s skip the opener and just show up for the mane event.
- It was cheap. Only cost me a couple bucks.
- Spending time around those two is exhausting. They’re constantly jockeying for position.
- Why the long face? Friends bailed on you? That’s lame.
- This shindig’s getting too rowdy. Rein it in, party people.
For a last laugh, I’ll share a short video clip with you. My now retired horse, Bear, learned a few tricks over the years. But really, his main trick was bowing down on one knee to be mounted. And technically, Bear is a pony as he stands at 14.1 hands. So I had fun calling him my “one-trick pony”. Anyway, after we had learned the trick at a clinic, I had been wanting for awhile to show the trick to my husband and get it captured on video. I was super excited when my husband agreed to come outside with me one day to film. But I’d forgotten that earlier that day I had ridden another horse bareback and hadn’t yet changed my pants since I had been doing barn chores in the mean time. Would have been nice if my husband had pointed that out to me before he started filming. Oh well, it is good for a laugh.
View the clip at https://youtu.be/nFw27oXJlKU.