Have you listened to Equus Magazine’s Barn Stories podcasts? Barn Story material is selected by the magazine’s editors from almost forty years of True Tale stories that appeared in the printed magazine.
I am thrilled to see that my previously published True Tale story was made into Barn Stories Podcast: Episode 38! Equus has long been my favorite horse magazine. I actually remember reading it as a child. To have the magazine publish an essay of mine was meaningful. To see it turned into a podcast episode is a pleasant surprise.
I wrote the essay a few years ago. I composed it not long after my horse, Bear, began to struggle with a variety of health issues. His problems eventually led me to retire him from riding.
I actually figured that I did not have much time left with him. I anticipated most likely having him euthanized within the year.
I also didn’t have another horse of my own at home. I was fostering a series of horses for a rescue to keep Bear company. But none of them stayed with me permanently. With Bear’s health deteriorating, I also saw the end of my time as a horse owner looming before me.
The essay vividly reflects my feelings during that period. It is sad. Full of grief. Both real and anticipatory. My writing charged by the emotional turmoil that can occur when one experiences unwelcome life transitions.
Those of you who read the blog regularly will recognize that Bear is still with me. He turned 26 this year. But, you know. He won’t live forever. One day, I will in fact be grieving his actual loss. And at some point, my time as a horse owner will come to an end too.
Knowing those things will come to pass? It is painful. At the same time, that knowledge makes me appreciate all the more what I still do have. It sharpens my appreciation for what is right in front of me. Right here. Right now.
While reading or listening to sad stories is not for everyone, some of us find it therapeutic to dive into the depths of human experience and emotion. At least on occasion. Especially when it comes to how we feel about horses. Sometimes it is affirming and comforting to know that someone else feels similarly.
If you are inclined, you can listen to the podcast or read its transcript at
The podcast is about 10 minutes long, including the introduction, an ad read right in the middle of the podcast and the actual essay.
For those of you who prefer to listen to or read something a little different, check out the other Barn Stories podcast episodes. Some are sad or poignant like mine. Some are funny and more of a gentle read. I think they all do a beautiful job of capturing the range of experiences that equestrians have with horses. Find them at
This is the image that I chose to accompany my Equus True Tale story in the magazine. Bear and I are riding out on BLM land near the Little Bookcliffs mountain range in Western Colorado. I have long been drawn to the openness and stark beauty of the high desert. I thought the feeling of the picture captured the vastness of my relationship with Bear. The photographer is none other than my non-riding husband who was leading my other horse, Pumpkin Spice. You can see Spice’s ear sweetly peaking over the bottom corner of the picture.